You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. -Mark Twain

In the first place, God created idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. -Mark Twain

I believe I have no prejudices whatsoever. All I need to know is that a man is a member of the human race. That's bad enough for me. -Mark Twain

Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. -Mark Twain

Noise proves nothing--often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid. -Mark Twain

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. -Mark Twain

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. -Mark Twain

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. -Mark Twain

We despise all reverences and all objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our list of sacred things. And yet, with strange inconsistency, we are shocked when other people despise and defile the things which are holy to us. -Mark Twain

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it. -Mark Twain

Be good and you will be lonesome. -Mark Twain

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness. -Mark Twain

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them. -Mark Twain